Panhyle is the second of the Tetrad++,
the trans and gender variant deities making themselves known through
the work of P. Sufenas Virius Lupus and others. Here are some of my
thoughts on Him and my relationship with Him.
~
Panhyle feels
like those soap sculptures we made
in 7th grade, in imitation
of a long ago art:
strong, moldable, delicate, beautiful
and yes, sometimes frustrating!
(He feels like the same Artist that
shaped Him also shaped me
Like what He is shaped of might make me
clean,
wash away the grit and insults of the
world)
He feels
like the trees feel to me
(me, with my Greenman heart):
like I am utterly safe
leaning into His rootedness
as though His embrace
sinks me ankle-deep in the Earth
With Panhyle,
I think
I could hide my face between His
shoulder blades
and weep
And He would stand between me and the
world
protecting my privacy
until I am ready to raise my face
Panhyle knows
about getting to decide
what is hidden and what is revealed*
He knows about safety and trust and
intimacy
Panhyle, who came into the world
with his most
delicate parts hidden
helps me draw a line,
to decide who gets to see me
and how bare I will be before them
Panhyle feels
like my dad, next to me in the stands
at my sister's graduation
the two of us screaming our lungs out
as my sister walked
loud enough that others turned to
stare:
He does not care much for the norms
and He is proud of His children
(His brothers, His sisters, His
siblings, His lovers, His people, us)
Panhyle
feels
like a
kiss to the nape of the neck,
a
lover's hands on my hips:
intimate
a
shivery promise of pleasure to come
a
firing of nerves
that
leaves me awake in my body
I turn
my head,
brush
my bare cheek against
His
soft bristles
And
want to know more.
~
*Writing
this, I had a sudden deep flash of empathy for all those who choose
to veil all or part of their body/hair/face. I finally get it on a
gut level as well as an intellectual level.
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